Rod's Divine Inspiration
And welcome back to MNT, where London's Finest Pool hosted the 2nd event of 2023. Most will tell you that it's the best you'll see in London, some say that it's the best you'll see in the UK. Whichever you believe, the fans waited in anticipation for the gathering of London's Finest Pool players at London Snooker Tooting. Most spectacularly, Dan "the Destroyer" Suh unveiled his new sponsored apparel. Fans were overawed as he unveiled his new sponsors: London Snooker Tooting, Seyberts, Predator Cues, IQ Cues, Korea Foods/Seoul Plaza, and Takini Cloth/Table Min. Dan told the media before the night began that so many companies had been after his signature for a number of months, and had to succumb to putting an extra sponsor, such was the high demand. "I was especially delighted to sign up with Takini Cloth/Table Min, who are a Korean company, where London Snooker Tooting will exclusively be using their cloths in 2023." Destroyer merchandise was expected to be launched last night, but due to the huge numbers of pre-orders, this has been delayed by a few weeks.
So, into the early rounds of last night's MNT. Amazingly only one match went to the wire, with Kris fighting his way to hill hill with Glen "THE Hitman" Hargreaves, but Glen's a canny operator and with one eye on a massive match-up against Gabriel "Hitman" Vasilache, he had every incentive to get through to the quarters to face the Romanian assassin. 4-3 to the big Geordie lad, in what was a gruelling, nail-biting affair. Two big grudge matches were also played out. Paz "the Punisher" Brennan and Ciaran "Killer" Boylan are partners...no, not that kind, but they do work together and regularly practice against each other. They had faced each other at the end of November, where Ciaran came through easily, 5-0. And just last week, Ciaran beat Paz 6-1, so Paz was bang up for some revenge. It didn't happen. 4-1 to Ciaran, who even had to play with a borrowed cue after all his pool equipment was nicked out of his car the other day. Paz was left to rue the day, but will surely come back stronger and get back to his punishing ways. And in the other grudge match, Saman Gholami and Muhammed "he's the greatest" Ali, faced each other after an immense battle in the Piranha Bowl last Saturday. Both had played exceptionally well in the Piranha Bowl, and Saman was looking very sharp in the warm-up. So this was really the match to put an end to last Saturday's rivalry. However, Saman just couldn't summon up enough of his powers to give Ali much of a game, and Ali was on fire, resulting in a 4-1 victory.
Meanwhile, three spankings in the early rounds. Henri continuing his decent form by disposing of Ranj (4-0) to get to the quarters. Ram got off to a flyer with a 4-0 win over Dan Jenkins, Rod followed suit with a 4-0 drubbing of Pistol Pete Cloherty. The two main men really laying down the early markers, but let's not forget Gabriel "Hitman" Vasilache. After 3 weeks of not playing, indulging in every Christmas excess you can think of, weighing 5 kg heavier than his pre-Christmas fighting weight, Gabriel is considered one of the ones to look for in 2023 to topple the Ram/Rod titans at the top. Gabriel saw off another of the big names, Martinho Correia, in the first round, 4-2, and then disposed of Kostiantyn Ivanov, the young star at Tooting, 4-2 also. What a route to the quarter-finals! However, what a modest man Gabriel is, as he described his chances of winning the tournament as "slim, unlike my belly".
The quarters looked tasty. Dhari Alduraibi faced Rod the God. Dhari had been playing really well too, seeing off Ciaran 4-2 earlier, and he was looking confident. Rod, however, was finding his usual inspiration from his pint of cider (some say he was on his 5th pint by the quarters), and ran out 4-1 winner. Post-match, Sky Sports Arena caught up with Rod to question his pre-tournament brags about giving any player a 5 frame start...Rod responded "no starts for anyone, that's a fool's game (*pulls a BA Baracus face at the cameras*), but I WILL be getting to the final". Meanwhile, an out of form Ciprian Dandu was still dishing it out, winning 4-1 against Henri, but was still disappointed with his game having only broke and run won once in his quarter. We all know that when Cip hits form, he's going to be challenging for the top spot as his C game is pretty much better than most people's A game. Ram really was in fine form as he overcame Ali 4-0. In the post-match interview, Ram was his usual modest self, explaining "I fear Ciprian, Andrew, Gabriel, Kostiantyn, and Rod the God. There's too many people in here who can win." Great words from the great man, although he did leave out the Destroyer, but I'll have words with him later. And the last of the quarters, the two hitmen faced each other to see who the real Hitman is. Pre-match, Glen "THE Hitman" Hargreaves said that he held great respect for Gabriel but "I'm feeling confident, and we shall see who the best Hitman is tonight, but I can think I can go all the way". And what a match we had. A real high quality game between two high calibre players, but having seen off both Martinho and Kostya, it was Gabriel who came out on top with a 4-3 win, leaving Glen distraught at fans questioning whether he really was "THE" Hitman, or whether he was just "A" Hitman.
The semi-final line-up was full of high quality and reflective of how experience in this game can really push you to the pinnacle. Cip lost out 4-1 to Ram, but as has been said before, Cip's only on his C game, and his A game is one of the best in Tooting. Meanwhile, Gabriel ran out of steam and perhaps, a lack of match fitness took its toll and lost 4-2 to Rod. This set up the two titans, Ram and Rod, in the final for the second week running. Both are highly competitive and both are pushing each other hard. In the last 10 meetings, Rod had lost to Ram 7 times, with 2 of those wins coming in March and April of last year, but Rod's right up there for a reason, and the final went to hill-hill. Psychologically, this was going to be an important rack. If Ram won, then he really does become Rod's nemesis and potentially it could scar Rod for a while. But with a point to prove, a win for Rod would close the gap, remind Ram that the gap is closer than is sometimes believed, and ensure that the next time they face each other, it would be psychologically more even than ever. Fuelled by his magic apple juice (reports are that Rod was on his 8th pint by now), Rod came through to bag the all important win and be crowned champion in only the second MNT of the year.
Post-match, Rod said "I'd just like to say that I picked the winner from the start. And going into the final, luckily, the statistics were 50% in my favour! This year, nothing matters more than my earning the Top Gun badge that Ram won last year. It's what every player should aspire to own".
So, another fantastic night drew to a close and the rankings are already taking shape. Ram still leads Rod, but there's not much in it, whilst Gabriel is starting to make his move on the top two already, and Tash is still very much in early contention. Hopefully, by next Monday, we will see new cloths on the tables, with a few other minor fixes to tables. This may well see a big improvement take place, and we expect there will be more substantial news to follow over the coming weeks.
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The Golden Balls Awards
At the Annual End of Season LFP Golden Balls Awards Gala Dinner at the prestigious London Snooker Tooting, sponsored by London Snooker Tooting, and Korea Foods, press from around the world caught glimpses of some of the biggest names in Tooting on the red carpet. This long-awaited event is the highlight of Tooting's calendar, and many of the big names came out in force to receive their awards.
Award Winners were as follows:
Most Tournaments Played - Muhammed "He's the Greatest" Ali
Goliath Winner - Tomasz Jedlecki
Longest Winning Streak - Ramesh "Ramma Jamma" Gokhul
LFP Ranked Number 2 of 2022 - Rod "The God" Altes
LFP Ranked Number 1 of 2022 - Ramesh "Ramma Jamma" Gokhul
Ram took home a trophy, a Jack Daniels hamper with whiskey tumbler, and a special badge that he'll be wearing at the next official tournament. Just look out for it, as it is the most impressive badge you'll ever see.
Ram had some great words for the audience as he thanked Tash for introducing him to London's Finest Pool, where he's felt part of the family and pushed to improving himself as a player by everyone trying to gun him down. He thanked Asif, the staff, the LFP Organisers, and the players themselves for making it a true community.
Throughout the night, plenty of mini competitions were held, which brought a lot of laughs and really made the whole evening worthwhile. Winners were:
Speed Pool - "Pistol" Pete Cloherty with a flawless and stunning time of under 40 seconds. Pete won a £50 bar tab, which was generously consumed throughout the evening.
1 v 1 Speed Pool - Imagine the amazement of the crowd as Rod and Ram faced each other in the final of the 1 v 1 Speed Pool. Watching everyone run around the table was great viewing and in the end, Ram came away winner and took a box of chocolates as the prize, which he duly went round the club sharing with everyone.
1 Rack Shootout - Not surprisingly, the Destroyer made it to the final and looked most likely to win, but in the end, young Kostiantyn pounced on the one mistake the Destroyer made and ended up as winner. Kostya was eyeing up the champagne but was warned off it by security as he's still underage. In fact, his age was the sole reason the adult entertainment was cancelled for the event.
One-Handed Shootout - If there's one thing you can say about Rod the God, is that he learns bloody quickly. Starting off slowly in the first round, he ended up running out the last 4 balls in the final against Ranj and won himself a bottle of Moet, to add to his mini Jack Daniels hamper that he had already picked up for being ranked number 2 this year.
Killer - A lot of entrants for this one, and in the end Doug "the Shark" Clark pulled through to fend off the opposition. Given a choice between the chocolates and the Moet, Doug took home the champagne as the evening drew to a close.
This year has been a really extra special year for many of us who love playing pool. I cannot even begin to tell you the sacrifices that Cip and Andrew make to make this happen, every Monday, and it's the ONLY place in the UK where 32 players can get together on a Monday night and play a high standard scratch tournament, with fantastic characters and competitors. Cip and Andrew stay till the end every Monday, they piss off their partners/families, and most of all...they have given up their own pool playing standards to make this happen for you. They do not make a penny from these tournaments, so please bear this in mind for the future, just by listening to them, supporting them, and co-operating in any way you can, but most of all, enjoy yourselves and keep maintaining this community to its high standards and make this a welcoming place for all.
On behalf of Cip and Andrew, have a great Christmas period, have a wonderful New Year, and I hope you lot all bow down to the Destroyer in 2023.
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The Usual Suspects
Happy New Year everyone!
MNT was back in action last night for a new season, with statistics reset and ready to go for a big year ahead. The question was whether some of the regulars had too many mince pies, or whether they had been secretly training during the close season, ready for the opening day.
Regrettably, London's Finest Pool reporter was hurrying back from the Brentford win over Liverpool, so was late to the MNT, meaning that there were no interviews in the early rounds. However, there were some epic results, notably Ervin "Vini" Demiraj getting his first ever win on a Monday night! His game is starting to come along nicely, an he took our Peter Hsu in a match that went hill-hill. Notably, the boy wonder, Kostiantyn Ivanov was fresh back after a little bit of a lay-off where he actually had to attend school and do some studying rather than spend his life at the pool hall. He managed to take out Muhammed "He's the Greatest" Ali 6-5. Also, in a real close game, Gauhar Khan took out Pistol Pete Cloherty, which really shows off Khan's improvement that he showed towards the end of 2022.
Into the second round, and Ciaran Boylan was looking ominous. During the close season, whispers had it that Ciaran was going to step up to the plate this season as he looked really good in practice. However, practice is practice, and whilst Ciaran might have taken out Paz "the Punisher" Brennan in the first round, Dan Jenkins came in to gain revenge against Ciaran for a defeat less than a month ago, and won 6-5. Elsewhere, Ranj Sarraj looked determined to get off to a flyer, and inched past Andrew Phan 6-5.
All hotting up nicely, and the quarters looked tasty as Doug "the Shark" Clark breezed past the conqueror of Ciaran, Dan Jenkins, 5-2. Saman Gholami was also looking pretty serious as Kostiantyn didn't quite have the answers to beat him, and Saman came through 5-4. And then onto the big guns. Ram decided that time wasn't on his side, and took out Dhari Alduraibi 5-0 in super quick time. Meanwhile, the other big gun, Rod "the God" Altes quickly took out Ranj 5-2. All looking setup for a Ram-Rod final (again), but the question was whether Saman could defeat Rod, and whether Doug could take Ram down.
Nope...was the answer.
To be fair, Doug played well. Really well. Almost flawlessly in fact, but "almost" against Ram isn't enough. 5-4 to Ram and into the final against............*surprise surprise*, Rod. Rod quickly took care of Saman with a 5-1 win, and the first MNT final by LFP at the LST was Ram vs Rod. Winning the first rack, Rod was looking ominous, but Ram bashed up Rod 5-2 in the end. Rod was left stunned at the end and commented "The guy's consistency is unbelievable. Respect!" But we all know that Rod is just going to knuckle down and work Ram out. But what a superb evening, with the big guns starting the season exactly as they left off the last.
Over the coming weeks, though, the challengers (piranhas) will be out in force. This was just the curtain-raiser, a taster of what's to come, but whilst 2023 started out with the usual suspects, but expect a sea of change. Way too much talent in the rest of the field. So who to watch out for?
Cip's gone into a secret location, doing an impression of Rocky Balboa in Rocky 4, getting his game back to where it belongs. So be very scared when Cip is back in the frame.
Gabriel is undoubtedly going to be a fearsome competitor this season, but just needs a break from all the Christmas excess that he's been indulging in.
Tash is already known to be one of the big guns in Tooting. He fears no-one.
Martinho has proven himself with his exceptionally high win ratio in 2022, so expect great things from the great man.
Kostiantyn could well be the surprise package, as he's threatening to be consistent, and with his talent, could surpass anyone. And then there's still the likes of Doug, who probably needs to find that extra 1% in his consistency to be threatening, and Craig would be right up there if his mummy let him play on a Monday more often. Some fine talent in the pool of piranhas waiting to eat Ram and Rod alive. 2023 is going to be a fine year for our community, and standards are going to reach new levels.
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End of Year School Report
As the year comes to a close, some of the main pupils at Tooting Grammar School have received their end of year reports. The school has decided not to publish the reports of all 128 pupils who attended the school this year, but here are a selection of some of the main students who attended regularly throughout the year.
Ciprian Dandu – is currently the head boy and maintains an excellent attendance record. His concentration levels have tended to slip at times, mainly when distracted by other pupils shouting scores at him, but his performances have shown that he can outperform all other boys during exam time. Is really good at helping the school maintain discipline, especially in the playground, but can lose his temper on occasion when the other boys ignore him.
Andrew Phan – has been an able deputy head boy, and has exceeded teacher expectations by excelling at media studies. His video assignments have been outstanding and he is likely to have a future career in this field. His performances, however, have slipped since last year, but is still known to be a good performer. Teachers have reminded him that his performances could improve if he played with both hands.
Muhammed Ali – has been the most committed boy in class this year. His 100% attendance record and willingness to help the school has been noticed, and has been recently taken on extra-curricular activities by organising the shy students in a new snooker league. However, Muhammed’s performances over this year have slipped slightly in recent months, and it is hoped that he will regain his form next year. It is also regrettable that Muhammed insists on using the wrong equipment during his performances.
Ramesh Gokhul – is one of the oldest in the school, and a model pupil according to his teachers. He sets an example to other boys, and has performed exceptionally well throughout the year. In a recent school trip to the US, however, he did fail to live up to expectations, and has struggled a little to return to the form that he demonstrated before the school trip. He is, still, the highest scoring performer in the school, and one of the most popular.
Rod Altes – was transferred from a comprehensive school, only this year, and immediately outperformed most of the other pupils with his performances, leaving other students wondering if he had actually come from another grammar school. Has since settled in exceptionally well, and his performances have occasionally outshone Ramesh’s. Teachers are concerned whether he actually consumes anything other than apple juice.
Tashunka Schultz – draws a lot of attention as he is generally a very popular boy. Has a tendency to call himself a donkey and put himself down frequently, but still finished 3rd this year. We are also concerned that he has walked out of school on occasions, threatening to stop his studies, but relieved to see that he returned back to school quite quickly.
Kostiantyn Ivanov – recently moved to Tooting Grammar School and is the youngest in the school. He has a youthful exuberance that is infectious, and is clearly very talented. However, his expectations of himself are exceptionally high, and his teachers would like to remind him that he cannot pot every single ball on the table all of the time.
Gabriel Vasilache – is one of the quieter members of the school, but is always knuckling down, concentrating hard, and has performed exceptionally well throughout the year. He is likely to progress further next year, as teachers have reported that he has the potential to be the highest performing student at the school next year. Gabriel has also been asked to stop intimidating the new boys to the school as he likes to stand at the door of the classroom and stare them out as they enter.
Andy Curzon – has exceptional enthusiasm whilst at school, but his performances are inconsistent, when he clearly has the ability even if he is slightly unorthodox. It is hoped that he takes a little bit more time over 2023 to find that consistency, as his best performances have come when he finds his focus. He has been asked, repeatedly, to stop running in the corridors. He has a tendency to run everywhere without slowing down.
Sean Avery – is a very well-behaved student, but has been underperforming for most of the year. Is definitely contender for having the best head of hair, although Gabriel might have something to say about this. Sean has also recently been asked to help the school run detentions on a Wednesday night for the naughty kids.
Saman Gholami – started the year very poorly indeed. Consistently near the bottom of the class and the teachers have had genuine concerns for him. However, he has been putting in huge efforts to improve over summer and been voted the most improved pupil in the school.
Gauhar Khan – failed to attend many classes up to May of this year, but has since been attending regularly, impressing his teachers with his increasingly dogged performances. He can occasionally be quite negative about himself at times, but still gets his head down and concentrates on improving. Gauhar occasionally has trouble responding to authority, and has been repeatedly told to pull his trousers up. Failing that, he is allowed to borrow a belt from lost property.
Doug Clark – was one of the brightest students in class until June, when he decided he didn’t want to attend any more and dropped out of school. It was good to see him return to class in October, but his performances lacked the kind of panache seen earlier in the year, leaving Douglas with a permanent hang dog expression after most classes. It has been promising to see his performances have improved lately, and his return to the front row of the class has been well-deserved.
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