Fake Taxi Drives the Competition Away
Last night saw the best in London gather from all corners of the metropolis. Many old faces and fresh new talent came to the bearpit known as London Snooker Tooting, the most vibrant pool hall in Tooting, as MNT returned with a full field of 32.
The first round was a belter. Carl “The Hyena” Locsin, the Filipino hustler, and Robert “Dread” Nightengale, played out a whopper by the bar as both players knuckled down to a proper slugfest. Both weren’t quite at their peak yet, so it was just a matter of who could capitalise on any mistakes. Carl, with his enigmatic display, pulled out some rabbits from his hat, and managed to win at the death, 5-4.
Meanwhile, Muhammed “I’m the Greatest” Ali, winner of last week’s MNT, faced up to the Salami, Saman Gholami. Both know each other’s game so well, as they are training partners, and frequently argue with each other when they play doubles. This was always going to be a tight match, even though the Salami was a little under the weather, and in the end, Ali came through 5-4, but a bit battered and bruised.
Obi “Jedi Knight” Anyaouku welcomed a noob to MNT, Jacob Leslie, who hails from Ipswich but recently moved to Ilford with his BFF, McKenzie Rae. McKenzie had the unenviable task of getting thrashed 5-0 by Spencer “Afrotastic” Oliver, but Jacob put up a good fight against Obi, who will now forever be known as Slowbi, as the match seemed destined to never end. 2 hour match, which Slowbi finally managed to win 5-4. A true epic, with plenty of good natured heckling from the crowd with slow hand clapping, and general piss-taking out of Slowbi.
Two upsets in the first round, and no, I’m not talking about Cip when he has to repeat himself to players when telling them which table they’re playing on. But first off, Sean Avery was on fire. Not known for going deep, but he thrust himself upon the Turnip, Dan Jenkins, and mashed him up to leave the Turnip completely stunned and subsequently left the arena looking shell-shocked. After the match, Sean told DAZN, “piece of piss mate, I mashed him up, and now I’m going to do the same to Henri. I’m on fiiiiiiiire!”
The other upset came on table 4, the scene of last week’s upset where the Turnip beat up Ramesh “Ramma Jamma” Gokhul. Yet again, Ram found himself on his nemesis table, and this time, against Marius Dandu. Marius played exceptionally, whilst Ram found himself haunted by the defeat by Turnip that he just didn’t show up and lost to Marius 5-2. After the match, Ram told the post match press conference: “That table man, it’s no good for me. I can’t take table 4 no more.”
Round 2 saw the Battle of Romania ensue, between Ciprian “Spin King” Dandu and Gabriel “Fake Taxi” Vasilache. Cip, though, just couldn’t get himself going, and lost 5-2, telling reporters after the match “I can’t deal with Gabby, something about his game, I can’t deal with it”. Elsewhere, Spencer and Rod “the God” Altes played out a match worthy of a final. Both are top quality, as we all know, and it was always going to be close as it proved. A match of few mistakes, but each mistake was getting punished, and in the end it was Rod who made the fewest mistakes, and progressed to the quarters.
After all the talk of mashing up Henri “the Finnisher” Linnainmaa, Sean came a bit unstuck as Henri ran away with it, 5-1. Carl came up against the conqueror of Dan “out in the first round” Suh, Ciaran “Paddy Power” Boylan. Ciaran might have considered himself clear favourite, but the Hyena was on form and won 5-3. Perhaps, the big upset of the round, came from Slowbi, who beat Ali 5-3. And this is the thing about Slowbi, given half the chance, his form can be very impressive and he certainly turned it on, to bolster his confidence.
The quarters were full of names who might not be associated with going deep into comps, which is testament to the increased quality seen at MNT. Gabby was taken to the wire by the Hyena, and Carl will actually be really disappointed that he didn’t win as he had the chance to, but a mistake saw Gabby take the win 5-4.
Usman “Uzi” Khokhar had quietly crept into the quarters, and was favourite to beat Slowbi, but Slowbi was just getting better and better, and easily won 5-1. Henri was also starting to kick into gear, as he had to really knuckle down against Krishen “Kris” Sookhraz, who can be a devastating potter when he needs to be. 5-4 win for the Finnisher, and that left one more semi-final berth to be filled. It was going to either be Marius, or Rod. All the bookies had this down to be a close encounter, with Rod slight favourite at BetFred. Perhaps it was the fatigue from having played such an epic match against Spencer, perhaps it was because he was heckled in the crowd at never being able to achieve number 2 spot again, or perhaps it was because he was on his 8th apple juice of the evening, but Rod crumbled and Marius turned it on to win 5-0. An excellent performance from Dandu 2.
The semis saw Slowbi have to take on MNT’s new number 1, Gabby. And Gabby was ready for the challenge. Make no mistake, Slowbi played well, but you can’t just play well against Gabs, and despite taking 3 racks off Gabs, Slowbi just couldn’t quite keep up with Fake Taxi, and Gabby marched into the final to face either Henri or Marius.
Regrettably, Marius and Henri didn’t turn out to be the close encounter that the crowd had hoped for, as the two completely contrasting styles left the cool-headed Henri in a strong position to hold himself together, as Marius lost patience and lost out 5-1.
With Gabby looking on at the carnage from the semi between Henri and Marius, Gabs plotted his patch to victory in the final, with a swift 5-1 victory in 20 minutes, meaning that Gabby has achieved 6 MNT wins in 2025, just one behind Ram, but can also cement his place as number 1 ranked in Tooting, as the challengers drop away.
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The Reports Are Back
Apologies for the enforced absence, but due to the loss of the media deal, we've been unable to report on MNT this year. However, after negotiations, a new media deal has been struck, and we're back reporting on London's Finest Pool's MNT's.
Lots has changed over 2024 as the rankings have shown. In previous years, Ramma Jamma and God shared the top two spots pretty much since the emergence of the rankings, but whilst Ram still owns the top spot, it's God who has slipped down the pecking order as his form is patchy to say the least. Still capable of winning any MNT on his day, regrettably, his day has been somewhat missing over the course of 2024, and he slips and slides down the rankings in an unfamiliar 5th position. Ram can also be disappointed with his form, as he hasn't quite been himself over the year, but still capable of pulling out magic on occasions to retain his top spot, but the chasing pack are closing in on him. Namely, Gabriel "Fake Taxi" Vasilache has been the man in form, and has now firmly established himself as the Number 2. Maybe it's only a matter of time before he reached top spot, but anything can happen between now and the end of the year.
Also of note, So Shaw, in only 4 tournaments played this year, has rocketed up the rankings to number 3, having only lost 2 games in 17. Quite the record, but his lack of participation will likely exclude him from any awards at the end of the year. Sam Storey also continues to impress as he consistently runs deep into comps, whilst Greg "Lord" Mostyn enjoyed a phenomenal year to May, reaching third place and had broken the 8 point mark. But, has since shown a lack of consistency and slipped back down the rankings a little. Jim "Greecey Slim Penis" also has surged up the rankings, along with Henri "The Finnisher" Linnainmaa, Turnip, and Pistol Pete Cloherty.
Onto last night's LFP's MNT at LST. For those new to us, it's London's Finest Pool's Monday Night Tournament at London Snooker Tooting, but that's a bit of a mouthful. 29 of London's most fearsome pool warriors exchanged pleasantries before the battles commenced. Sam Storey had to contend with the ever-improving Saman "Salami" Gholami. Matches between these two are nearly always a tight affair, and this was no exception as they both went at it hammer and tongs. No real surprise as they went hill-hill, but eventually Sam sent the Salami home early. Usman "The Uzi" Khokhar is a vastly improved player and has been showing good form of late. He was up against the enigmatic Carl Locsin, who is capable of the sublime and really should be higher up the rankings with his style and technique. Locsin demonstrated why he shouldn't be underestimated and pushed Usman to the wire, but the Uzi pulled the trigger at the right time, and rattled home the winner to make it 5-4. We're fortunate in that we attract players from all over, including the walking advertisement for different cue companies, Stephen "the Outlaw" Stedman. Stephen hails from Romford, so it's quite the trek to make it over to Tooting, and he's been over with fellow Essex Boys, Dainlus Zvirblys, and Tom "Diver" Daly who appears to have let himself go a bit since retiring from Olympic diving. Stephen had to face one of the biggest/loudest characters in Tooting, Danny "Tsunami" Navidi, and both players played out a very enjoyable match where the Tsunami sneaked the victory 5-4. And finally, in the first round, we had the Thriller from Manila as two of the Pinoy top boys, Ramon "Monster" Navarro faced up to Nick "LuckboxQ" Ronase. Nick can certainly claim to have a lot of flair in his game, whilst Ramon can only be described as very un-Filipino in his style, but nonetheless very effective. These two contrasting styles made for a really tight affair, but in the end, Nick claimed the victory over his compatriot whose famous "twitch" came back to haunt him.
Highlights of the second round, and Sam Storey made light work of Henri, The Uzi gunned down God easily, whilst Kostya Ivanov (The European U18 Champion) eased past Lord Mostyn. In the battle of Romford, Dainlus Zvirblys took out Tom Daly who was making his debut at MNT. Finally, the Arjon "the Beard" Hasi managed to overcome the ever-improving Loui Suarez, not to be confused with the buck toothed cheating Uruguayan striker who has a taste for biting defenders. Into the quarters, and the Uzi continued his fine form as he shot down Sam. Turnip was starting to show some fine form against Kostya and took him out 5-3, the Beard had a tough match against Cip "the Spin King" Dandu which went all the way, but Arjon creeped over the finishing line, and the Romford posse's run at MNT came to an end as Gab easily won against Dainlus. Long journey home, but we hope it was worth it for the Romford posse. That left Turnip to face the Uzi, and Gab to take on the Beard in the semis. Gab, as often is the case, was warming up throughout the tournament, and was playing virtually flawlessly, as he quickly disposed of the Beard. That left a meaty encounter between Uzi and Turnip, where Turnip also showed that despite his depressing and morose expression, he can play a bit. A rather tactical affair that Turnip has become accustomed to, but perhaps that suits him and he won 5-3. That left the final to be played between Turnip and Fake Taxi, and there's a reason why Gab is closing in on the top spot, and he saved his best to last and won 5-1. No complaints from Turnip though, as he told our roving reporter: "yeah, well, I played ok I suppose. Not much I could do about Gabs, but no doubt that I'll be back playing shit again next week". As always, plenty of positivity from the man they call Turnip. Gabriel said to the cameras: "well, y'know, I played ok. I can play better, and I will show that as I get the number 1 spot in the next few weeks."
So that concluded yet another MNT, and it was great to be reporting from Tooting again. We look forward to next week's MNT, which may well see Ram back in action to secure his position at the top, whilst Gabriel seeks to take him down.
Have a great week!
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Floats like a butterfly, and stings like a bee
Monday night means MNT at LST by the guys at LFP, and as usual, 32 players travelled from all corners of London to climb up, or fall down the rankings.
The first round had some really interesting results, as Obi "Jedi Knight" Anyouku caused a nice little upset over Marius Dandu with a 4-1 win. Sean "Scarf" Avery almost pulled off a bit of an upset against Andrew "I play better with my jump cue" Phan by taking their match right to the wire, but couldn't quite get over the line. Danny "Tsunami" Navidi really piled on the pressure against Tom Jedlecki and took the match to hill hill, but it was Tom who finished off the stronger. Henri "the Finnisher" Linnainmaa has been playing well of late, and was probably favourite going into his match against the Ramon "Monster" Navarro, but despite the famous monster twitch, Ramon went through to the next round. Josh Roberts also nearly caused a mahoosive upset against Ciaran Boylan, but not taking his opportunities when the big Irish Shrek with hair was a bit cold, cost Josh the win.
Certainly, the win of the round belongs to Turnip. At 1-0 up, he was kindly informed by Greg "Lord" Mostyn that his beloved Southampton were losing 3-0 to Bournemouth, and Turnip suddenly went into complete overdrive. Totally beat up Ram "Ramma Jamma" Gokhul, who will be very disappointed not to have progressed after a decent showing at Total 9 Ball on Saturday. Well done to Turnip, who had to fend off the disbelief, but we all know he's got that game within himself. He obviously just needs to get a bit wound up!
Moving deeper into the comp, and Round 2 saw some really good ties. Usman "The Uzi" Khokar was pushed the ever improving Obi, Muhammed "He's the Greatest" Ali won two games in a row for the first time in ages by beating conqueror of Dan "out in the first round" Suh, Hassan "Wolverine" Mehedi after coming back from 3-0 down! Arjon "The Beard" Hasi, was fresh off a really good showing at Total 9 Ball on Saturday, as he got to the final and only lost to a very in-form Mark Capito. The Beard carried on his fine form by overcoming Lord Mostyn, who put up a good fight. Saman "Salami" Gholami also was pushed hard by Phan, which went right to the wire, but Salami is showing consistency and came through to win.
Into the quarters, and Rod "the God" Altes was looking ominous as he cruised past the Uzi. Ciprian "Spin King" Dandu couldn't quite get past Ciaran, whilst Ali kept on his winning streak as he was the one to stop the Beard in his tracks with a 4-3 win. And finally, an epic between Spencer "Afrotastic" Oliver and the Salami, as it was noticed by officials that Spencer was doing his best to get both himself and his opponent as drink as possible, and in the end the Salami wilted and shrivelled, as Spencer won 4-3. At this stage, Rod the God was looking pretty confident as he thought he had a good chance to win this week's MNT. But, despite the tough run to the semis, Ali was a man in-form and despite the close match, Ali managed to sneak the win 4-3. Meanwhile, Spencer was unable to convince Ciaran to get drunk with him for the semi, and lost out 4-1.
The final, therefore, was against Ali and Ciaran, and it was potentially going to be a real dogfight. However, Ali was on fire, and Ciaran could barely get to the table, and a 4-1 win ensued for Ali. As in his previous win in MNT a year ago, Ali jumped up onto the table to celebrate and shouted to the fans "I told you so, I am the greatest! There ain't nobody like me!" In the press conference after, Ciaran said "I think Ali only missed one ball in the final, but whilst I may not have prevailed, the consensus is that I am more handsome". Meanwhile, Ali launched into an attack on Ciaran as he retorted "That ugly fool...he's too ugly to be champ". Both had to be led away from the press conference as they hurled insults at each other, creating quite the scene.
Anyway, a big congrats to Gabriel "Fake Taxi" Vasilache, who was sadly absent from yesterday's MNT due to his filming on location in his taxi, which we understand to be released on adult themed websites very soon. But Gabby has become number 1 for the first time, and in fact, is only the second person since, what seems forever, to get to the coveted Number 1 spot! Only Rod has achieved it in recent times, when he was top for a week last November, only for Ramma Jamma to reclaim his place. All to play for before the end of the season, and we're pretty sure that Ram ain't gonna give up that top spot easily. Good luck to whoever draws Ram next!
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The Steve Norris Cup
With immense regret, we announce the passing of Steve Norris, one of the first participants at the first Monday Night Tournament, who was a genuine, caring and kind character, who could also be seen playing at Tooting on a regular basis. Whilst he was unable to participate too much on Monday's after a while, Steve continued to play against LFP members and you couldn't fail to hear him laughing and joking if he was in the club. Steve was one of those who was happy to share, talk to anyone who went near him, and made people feel welcome just by being an all-round great guy.
As London's Finest Pool has always striven to be a community, we very much hope that everyone will join us for the Steve Norris Cup on Monday 17th June at the usual place in Tooting. If it's possible, please add yourself through the normal way in the WhatsApp group. We will be donating all money to Steve's family, and will be accepting any donations whether you are able to attend or not. It will be a Scotch Doubles event and there will be no cap on players. The format will be decided on the night depending on numbers, but we ask that everyone can get there before 7pm, as we hope to have a moment together, as a community, to remember Steve. There will be no prize money, but hope that as many of you can make it to celebrate his life and have an evening of laughs, exceptional potting, and exceptional misses. Kinda sums up Steve.
We'd also like to thank those who have sent donations in already, who are unable to attend on Monday, for your immense generosity and support. Anyone wishing to donate may do so through PayPal www.paypal.me/londonsfinestpool
Many thanks,
London's Finest Pool
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