Salami Punani and his Barmy Army
Another over-subscribed MNT by LFP at LST, meant that we had yet another full field of 32 battling it out, with players coming from all corners of London. Something was in the air that night, according to Rod “the God” Altes, as he proudly proclaimed to the press, before the tournament started, that he really felt like he was going to win that night. Perhaps this was to be God’s night, as he looked very tidy in the warm-up, and we all know what he’s capable of.
The anticipation mounted, and just before the proceedings started, Gabriel “Fake Taxi” Vasilache’s name was pulled out of the hat for the Break and Dish, but regrettably a dry break ensued, much to the disappointment of the onlooking crowd, but not as disappointed as Gabs looked!
Into the first round and as it’s always said, the top players are at the mercy of the lower ranked players. The lower ranked players are like a pack of hounds, ready to pounce on an out of form, cold, and complacent higher ranked player. The sheer delight in causing an upset, or at the very least, being competitive and giving them a fright, is what motivates the lower ranked players, and gives them to drive to keep improving. Take Stephen “Outlaw” Stedman. Up against So “the sniffer dog” Shaw, one of the most talented players around. Stephen is still learning the game, and gave So a bit of a fright as he went 2-2, and that made So jolt into action to win 4-2. A sterling effort, nonetheless. Meanwhile, Tom “Diver” Daly, much like Stephen, is also learning the game, and he took advantage of some mistakes against the talented, yet temperamental, Marius “Dandu 2” to get to hill hill. Unfortunately, Tom’s going to have to learn to hold it together under pressure, but a fine performance to put Marius under pressure. And then Ranj “Lucky” Sarraj had the misfortune of having to face Ramesh “Ramma Jamma” Gokhul. Ranj is one of those who can cause an upset and has actually been to a semi-final this year. Ram had to dig in deep, whilst Ranj let the occasion get to him a little, and it was Ram who emerged as victor. Again, great effort from Ranj, and almost caused the biggest upset of the year.
The only other close match was between newcomer Razvan Spataru, and Dan “out in the first round” Suh. Razvan could clearly play a bit, whilst Dan did his best to self-destruct, but managed to come from behind to bring it to hill hill. However, Razvan held his nerve better than Dan, and progressed to the second round.
The second round is usually incredibly competitive due to players being a little warmed up. Some absolute humdingers of matches as Ciprian “Spin King” Dandu pushed Ram all the way, but it was Ram who managed to edge the encounter. Dan “Turnip” Jenkins, fresh off the jubilation of his wedding, seemed to carry all this positivity into his match against Gabriel. Strangely, Gabriel was off-form again for a second week, and Turnip took advantage to claim a smash and grab and send Gabs home early. Josh Roberts can be very proud of his performances, as he had taken out Mariusz Wiszowaty in the first round, and pushed Dandu 2 all the way to hill hill in the second round. However, Marius did the dirty on Josh, 3 fouled him at hill hill, but hopefully Josh will gain confidence from pushing Marius all the way. Meanwhile, Glen “the Hitman” Hargreaves signed off his year with a loss to Saman “Salami Punani” Gholami, but after his loss, he spoke at the press conference:
“Why aye man, Salami Punani plaaaayeed some erv the best pool aaa’ve seeeen in a whiiiile like, well deserved win, hadaway and shite like.” Glen signs off the year with a major operation on his back this coming Wednesday evening, and as has been reported on before, may or may not return to action, and even he does, may never be the same player again. He’s shown what he’s capable over the last couple of weeks, and on behalf of everyone in the local pool community, we very much hope that Glen can return to the beast of a player that we know he can be. All our very best wishes to Glen and his family.
Rod, after all the pre-match hype, failed to give newcomer, Razvan Spataru, a god-like welcome, and bombed out 4-1 after missing crucial pots and opening the gates of heaven wide open for the Romanian to take full advantage of, leaving Rod looking devastated as he left his fans (followers) disappointed, wondering whether they might need to change their religion.
For me, though, we all love a good grudge match between players who know each other so well. Alan “Spanish Assassin” Llorente found himself up against his sparring partner, oldest school friend, and fierce rival, Obi “Jedi Knight” Wan Kenobi Anyouku, the number 1 Nigerian in London. Little between these two in practice, but Obi is known for his bottle and his incredible ability to pot crucial pots under pressure came to the fore as Alan’s challenge wilted away. Having said that, Alan and Obi really battled hard at the start of the game, as after 37 minutes, the scores were still tied at 1-1, and the knives were being sharpened in the press room for the longest two racks ever played in Tooting. Slowbi and Alan Slowrente really entertaining the crowd with their tactical play.
The quarters saw Razvan up against the quietly efficient and dangerous, Arjon “the Beard” Hasi. So up against Ram. Turnip against Salami Punani. And Dandu 2 up against the Obi, whose force was well and truly flowing within him. Arjon, sporting the finest beard in Tooting (although Sean Avery’s beard is rapidly competing very closely), is well-known for being one of the most ruthless potters in Tooting. Up against Razvan, whose confidence was sky high at this stage, the two went at it hammer and tongs. A brutal high quality match where Razvan managed to snatch the win, sending him into the semis.
So Shaw and Ram served up a veritable feast of pool in their quarter-final. Both players are absolutely top tier and it really was no surprise that it went to hill hill. However, Ram grabbed his chance in the final rack and ran the balls out to win. A very high quality match, which took 35 minutes to complete 7 racks, demonstrating the attacking flair on offer.
In the other half of the draw, Saman made Turnip mash by absolutely walloping Dan 4-0, and the force appeared to have deserted Obi, as Dandu 2 turned it on to win 4-0 also.
The semis, therefore, had the overwhelming favourite to win MNT this week, Ram, up against Razvan. And Salami Punani up against Dandu 2. Razvan had already destroyed the Destroyer, turned God’s followers into sinners, trimmed the Beard, and against Ram, jammed the Ram right back down his throat with a convincing 4-1 win, leaving Ram shell-shocked. This big Romanian was on fire and watched the other semi-final play out to see who he’d face. Would it be his fellow Romanian, the diminutive yet highly aggressive Dandu 2? Or Salami Gholami, the man considered to be the most improved player in Tooting? As is often the case, Marius tried his best to get into his stroke, but somehow couldn’t get into his stride, and was easily punished by the Salami, and with the writing on the wall, Marius prepped himself for the inevitable, as Saman ran away with it, 4-0.
The crowd was excited for the final as Razvan, was on a roll. You don’t beat Rod, Arjon, and Ram to get to a final and expect to lose. But, all the bookies had Salami Punani down as the clear favourite. Co-commentator for DAZN and training partner of Saman, the Greatest Ali, said before the final, “Saman will win easily. He’s playing so well right now, I don’t think anyone can beat him right now. He deserves it and I reckon he could win 5-0”. Prophetic words, as Salami got down to business and totally shook up Razvan. Storming into an early lead, Saman played flawlessly, and his only mistake cost him a rack late on, but in the end, it was an easy 5-1 win, sending his fans into delirium. This means that Saman wins his 2nd MNT of the year, surges up to 9th in the rankings, and 12th in the top 100 players…EVER, breaking into the 7 point region, which is considered to be top tier. Well done Saman!
- Details
- Written by Dan Suh
- Category: Home
- Hits: 5
It's Getting Hot in Here
Whilst historically, Rod "the God" Altes has been the main challenger to Ramesh "Ramma Jamma" Gokhul's MNT title, this year has really seen Gabriel "Fake Taxi" Vasilache make some tremendous progress after starting the year on 7.568, but broke the magic 9 point barrier last night, if only for a short period, becoming only the third player ever to break the 9 point barrier (Rod and Ram being the other two). This season has been a huge success for Gabs, and the rivalry between himself and Ram is really coming to a head as the year starts to come to a close.
Regrettably, Ram will be away for a few weeks in November and December, but there's still plenty to play for, plenty yet to happen, and last night was no exception. Gabs started the evening on 8.939 points, whilst Ram was on 8.460. Ram's confidence was high as he had managed to win at Total 9 Ball on the weekend, in a very strong 60 man field. But surely it would be nigh on impossible to claw back the gap and overtake Gab on the night?
Anyway, before proceedings started, Muhammed "the Greatest" Ali was drawn out of the hat for the break and run. A big power break ensured, but alas, completely bone dry, and Ali stared at the table, willfully willing a few of the straggling balls to roll into a pocket. Never mind Ali, maybe next time!
The first round was fairly non-eventful. No serious upsets to speak of, but Obi "Jedi Knight" Anyouko will certainly be the most disappointed from the first round, as he took on Andri Doci, who had a really good run to the quarters last week. Obi was up 3-0, but somehow contrived to lose 4-3, afterwards blaming his team of cheerleaders (Danny and Alan) for making him lose his concentration. Elsewhere, pre-tournament favourite, Maciej "Crocodile" Kowejsza, took on Andrew "Jumpcue" Phan, and warned Andrew that 8 Ball was his strongest game, and Andrew really had to be on top of his game as he managed to win 4-1. Meanwhile, Gab brushed Tom "Diver" Daly aside 4-0, and Ram eased into the second round with an easy win over Dan "out in the first round" Suh.
What makes MNT such a special weekly event, is seeing the improvements amongst the players, and whilst it can be disheartening to go out early, it should encourage players to find ways to improve and work out how to get on top of their game nice and early. One of the hardest working players who really had a poor 2023, is Ali Haidery. Like many of the lower ranked players, frustratingly inconsistent, but able to pull off some excellent play, Ali's results this year have been pretty consistent. In the second round, he faced up to the experienced Nick "LuckboxQ" Ronase, one of those who can actually bank a ball or perform a four-railer and mean it. Nick and Ali took it to hill-hill, and in many cases, you might expect Ali to crumble under the pressure, but he's a different animal these days, and held his nerve to win. Andri Doci has also shown good improvements, and he was up against Ciaran "Paddy Power" Boylan, who has this horrible ability to squeeze the life out of his opponents, whilst still smiling at them. Ciaran was a little taken aback as Andri performed much like last week, but you don't mess with the big man from Ireland, and Ciaran pulled off the win at the death. Meanwhile, Gabs easily took out Andrew 4-1, and Ram was imperious as he beat a strong contender, Saman "Salami" Gholami 4-0.
Into the quarters and the lesser spotted Tashunka "Witko" Schultz started to make himself known with a solid win over Dandu 2, and Gabs put in a sterling effort to win 4-0 over Ciaran. Ram was up against Rod, and after the afternoon Rod had to endure in the league, ending up losing 13-3 to Joe "the Ponce" Prince over at Spots and Stripes, Rod was determined to end his day on a high note. However, Ram had been playing well all night, and managed to overcome Rod 4-2. The final match of the quarters saw Lord Greg up against Ali Haidery. The bookies had Greg 1-5 favourite, and surely Ali was going to run out of steam at this stage? Greg surged into a lead, but Ali's show of resilience was something else. A switch appeared to be flicked in his head and he turned into Fedor Gorst by playing some of the best pool he had ever played, coming from behind to win 4-3. After the match, Greg looked exhausted and shell-shocked, barely being able to mumble his reaction at the press conference. "Ali was amazing. Nothing I could do when he suddenly turned into an absolute beast. I didn't even play badly, but he just couldn't miss anything". Well done Ali, a first appearance in the semis, and deservedly so.
The semis saw Ali up against Ram, but with Ram's determination to win and Ali having claimed the monumental victory over Greg, it was Ram who easily won 4-1, but Ali will be very happy with his night's work. The other semi saw Gabs face some very stiff competition in Tash. Tash has all the ability in the world, but his multiple retirements means that he tends to only come out once in a while, and when he does, he can beat anyone. But Gabs really looks hungry right now, and wants to end the season on top. A 4-1 win to Gab, marching into the final against arch rival, Ram.
The final surely was going to be a close fought encounter, and it was surely meant to be as Ram hunts Gab down for the number 1 position. It would take a whitewash for Ram to overhaul Gab to regain his number 1 spot, and much to the shock of the fans, Ram turned it on to play near perfectly, whilst Gab was left stunned. 4-0 to Ram and he had regained his number 1 spot at the end of the night! A superb achievement, but there's no doubt that with so little of the season left, that number 1 spot is surely going to keep changing hands again.
- Details
- Written by Dan Suh
- Category: Home
- Hits: 93
Greg "Little Lord Fauntleroy, John Motson, People's Champion" Mostyn Recaptures Form
As is the case every Monday, LFP presents MNT at LST, and 32 of London's Finest rocked up in Tooting to see the battle for top spot ensue. The man in form has to be Ramesh "Ramma Jamma" Gokhul, who appears to have put on the afterburners recently by winning every tournament he enters, including the recent Total9Ball event at Redhill, and LFP's Winter Open at Tooting, only the night before, beating Rico Diks in the final. But Gabriel "Fake Taxi" Vasilache was chomping at the bit to get into the evening's proceedings as he had lost his top spot to Ram, and his competitiveness means that he will surely be fighting hard to the end of the year to regain his position.
The first round was an absolute epic round. Ram looked fired up and must have been trying to set an LFP record for fastest win as he pounced on Tom "Diver" Daly and won 5-0 in just over a quarter of an hour. To compare, Greg "Lord" Mostyn also won 5-0 in his first round match against Abdou Saidi, but took nearly 40 minutes to get the job done. Likewise, Jim "Dimitrius Greecey Peri Peri Slim Penis" Siampanis also won 5-0 against Paz "The Punisher" Brennan in a similar time of 40 minutes. Ram was clearly on fire, and poor Tom was left stunned at the flawless play of Ram. Elsewhere, though, was just hill-hill battle after hill-hill battle. 7 of the 16 matches went hill-hill. Newcomer, Mark Legaspi edged it against Freddie Yang. Muhammed "He's the Greatest" Ali could count himself lucky to win against Andrew "I play better with my jump cue" Phan after Andrew looked to dominate Ali but fell at the final hurdle. Dainlus Zvirblys could be very satisfied with his work against Mariusz Wiszowaty, whilst Nick "LuckboxQ" Ronase just about came through against the ever-improving Andri Doci. Ervin "Vini" Demiraj had to face the onslaught of the mighty Danny "Tsunami" Navidi, fresh off the controversy on Sunday, after being mistaken for Khan, and also being embroiled in Chalkgate, as he proved that his belly can absorb the impact of a chalk being thrown at him like an inflatable rescue jump cushion that the local fire brigade might use. Vini and Danny tore into each other as Vini surged into an early lead, only for Danny to unleash Tsunami mode and bring it back to 4-4. At 4-4, however, Vini was playing with tremendous skill, and just needed to get position on the 9 Ball, but somehow scratched off the 8 and in the end Vini looked inconsolable as his brother Sam gave him hugs and comfort at the end. Elsewhere, Rod "the God" Altes had the daunting task of facing the fearsome Gabriel, but somehow both players kept making uncharacteristic mistakes, and in the end, Gabby somehow managed to creep over the finishing line. In the last match of the first round, with the entire arena of fans and players watching on, Sean "Scarf" Avery was really going toe to toe with Robert "Dread" Nightengale. Sean kept nudging himself in front, but Rob kept fighting back to hill. With a chance to win, Sean attempted the long bank on the 9 Ball, but rattled it in the pocket and the huge crowd gasped in amazement as Sean took off his glove and conceded, drawing an end to a very hard fought first round.
The second round was, perhaps, less dramatic. Ram continued to define the word "efficiency" as he tore Ranj "Lucky" Sarraj apart in 25 minutes. Elsewhere, Dainlus Zvirblys continued his fine form with a good win over Nick Ronase, whilst it was a pleasure to Glen "the Hitman" Hargreaves progress to the quarters with a hardfought win over the Tsunami, 5-4. As you may already be aware, Glen's faces countless numbers of issues over his health, and is lucky to even be playing considering he has many days where he is left incapacitated. He is due to go back for surgery, of which there is no certainty for his health whatsoever, but needless to say, the entire community wishes Glen nothing but the best as his operation comes up in just over a week's time. So, it was really good to see Glen tame the Tsunami, leaving Danny to resemble something more like the air that comes out of the hand dryer in the toilets. The other epic battle in the second round was between Gabriel and Dan "out in the first round" Suh. In normal circumstances, Dan fails to progress beyond anything like 8:30pm unless he gets a bye, but had a fortunate win over Alan "Spanish Assassin" Llorente in the first round. This left the rather daunting task of having to face one of the most intimidating opponents in Tooting, Gabriel. Betfair had Gabs at 4-1 for a whitewash in under 30 minutes, but somehow, Dan managed to get his nose in front with a series of flukes and a little bit of good play. Gabs seemed a little shocked as at some points in the game, Dan was able to pull off some worldies, and pushed himself to go 4-2 up. With the biggest upset on the cards, Dan found himself with an easy 8 to get on the 9, but somehow realised the situation and completely bottled the easy 8 and after that, it was a complete collapse. Dan was left disconsolate afterwards, but could take a lot of positives as he sat in the corner of the arena replaying the missed 8 ball in his head over and over again.
The quarters saw Ram drop his first rack, against Saman "Salami" Gholami, but ended up winning 5-1. Sam Storey, was quietly being his very efficient self, winning 5-0 against the Greatest Ali, whilst Glen's run continued against Dainlus, and won 5-3. The match of the quarters had to be between Gabby and Greg "Lord" Mostyn, who likes to lay claim to the title of "People's Champion" and is also known for his excellent John Motson style commentary. Gabby, for some reason, maybe affected by the big scare caused in the previous round, was just not his usual self. Just a little off form, but by this stage, a little off form will get punished, and Greg is certainly starting to regain his own form again, the form he showed earlier in the year where he looked like he might sustain his elite status with his ranking breaking through the 8 point barrier, one of only 8 players to have ever attained 8 points! Gabs tried his best, but too many mistakes cost him in the end, whilst Greg was finding his confidence and progressed to the semis with a 5-4 win. This was a huge dent to Gabby's hopes of reclaiming top spot, and in the semis, Ram further opened up the gap in the ranking points with a whitewash over Sam Storey. In the other semi, Greg had to face Glen, who was gathering momentum, and was looking favourite to win after the went hill-hill. A super pot on the 8 left him an easier 9 to pot, but just at the wrong moment, he stroked it poorly and missed the pot, leaving Greg an easy 9 to win. Gutted for Glen, but he will take a lot of positives from his night's work, but that 9 ball will haunt him for some time to come. At the press conference after the match, Glen had this to say "why aye man, I canna beleev ah missed that shot like. It wuz eezyuh than the 8 and my arm went funny, y'naa whut I mean like?"
And then to the final. Everyone felt that Ram had it in the bag. The bookies made him 4-5 favourite but Greg has been in this position before, and he came out all guns blazing. It's not like Ram had an easy run to the final, but Greg was playing brilliantly to get to the hill first. Ram did everything he could to fight his way back, but made a mistake to bring the scoreline closer, and Greg took full advantage to secure his MNT win and leave Ram to kick himself. Speaking to DAZN after the match, Greg thanked his fans from around the world for the support they had provided him, and all the well wishes before he departs for Japan for a month off in the land of the rising sun.
Lastly, just a final point about communication from players, please. It's vital for the organisers to start the tournament on time and get through matches quickly. What helps is the organisation at the start, as we want to start by 7pm, not try to figure out whether players are turning up or not. If you know you'll be late, then text Cip and Andrew earlier than 6:45pm. When you do arrive, no matter what time, please report in to Cip and pay your entry fees, rather than have him chase people around. And finally, please listen out to your match start, as we don't need to waste time trying to find players to start their match, or have matches delayed because a player has to go for a smoke or toilet when they could have already done so. Late finishes impact players and organisers, and respectfully, we ask all players to help the organisers run the events more efficiently.
Many thanks and have a great week.
- Details
- Written by Dan Suh
- Category: Home
- Hits: 8
Ramma Jamma Returns To Form
Back at London Snooker Tooting for MNT, and 30 of the best in London were out in force to see the most gargantuan battle for top spot, as Ram "Ramma Jamma" Gokhul and Gabriel "Fake Taxi" Vasilache have had their war of words throughout the week. But before all the action kicked off, Andri Doci, who seems to get selected for the break and run every week, got selected yet again and with all the well-wishers cheering him on, dry broke and the derisions of laughter and heckles echoed around the arena as Andri looked disconsolate. Poor Andri, it's not his fault that he keeps getting selected.
Onto the main event of the evening, and the luck of the draw saw nearly all of the pre-tournmaent favourites in the bottom half of the draw. This was going to potentially throw up some incredible match-ups in the earlier rounds. First off, was the ever-improving Saman "Salami" Gholami against Ram, who has only been recently knocked off top spot by Gabby. Saman might have lost to Ram at the Sunday Classic Shootout, but pushed him hard then and was determined to win this time round. However, Ram just about tamed the ever-wilting Salami, and won 4-3. Elsewhere, making his debut appearance at Tooting, was Kimoye Weekes. An unknown quantity, he faced up to Jacob Leslie. Jacob had shown a lot of promise last week, despite losing at hill-hill to Obi "Jedi Knight" Anyouku in the third longest match ever recorded in the history of pool, so was determined to prove his ability against Kimoye. Another tight affair, but it was Kimoye who progressed to the next round, leaving Jacob to pick up his pom poms to cheer on his BFF, McKenzie. Nick "LuckboxQ" Ronase has been steadily improving recently, and he will be really pleased to have taken out Dandu 2, who is notoriously difficult to play against. Ranj "Lucky" Sarraj lived up to his name against an out of sorts, Lord Greg Mostyn, with a match that could have been wrapped up earlier, but Ranj blaming his loan cue for some of his misses to win more easily. And Maciej "Crocodile" Kowejsza will be really pleased to have pulled off a major upset against Ciprian "Spin King" Dandu, as the Croc brought Cip into his favourite game, 8 Ball, a game that Cip clearly struggled with.
The second round heated up nicely, as the match of round was Sunny "Boy" Garib against Ram. Sunny has been in imperious form, but Ram is really getting back to his best. Both players slugged it out on table 3, away from the nightmarish scenes of Ram's recent losses on table 4, and Ram edged to victory with a 4-3 win, leaving the potential to set up a clash with his arch rival, Gabriel. Stephen "Outlaw" Stedman found himself up against his fellow Romford stablemate, Kimoye, and with two players who spar against each other in any case, this was going to be an intense affair. Both players fought hard, but it was the Outlaw, who seems to have an edge over his Romford buddies, who came through to progress to the quarters. And the final close match was between Ranj and Dan "Out in the first round" Suh. A strong start from Ranj to go 3-1 up, but Dan came back strong to level it at 3-3. But, with no win since the 1st of July, it was Ranj who ended up going through to face Rod "the God" Altes.
The quarters saw Stephen up against Nick, and Nick really turned it on to put in a fine display to demonstrate why he was the Tier 3 favourite in the Spots and Stripes League before he had to withdraw. Rod took about 5 minutes to breeze past Ranj, playing utterly flawlessly. Obviously he was still sober at this stage. Muhammed "He's the Greatest" Ali has shown indifferent form of late, but was MNT winner only a couple of weeks ago, and he absolutely trounced Usman "the Uzi" Khokhar 4-1. And whilst this was going on, the grudge match was unfolding before our eyes on Table 6, as Ram and Gabriel faced up to each other after their week of smack talking came to a head. After a courteous fist bump between the two, both warriors went into battle. With it being such a short race, it was important to gain and hang onto the lead, and Ram managed to get his nose in front and get the upper hand. Both players determined not to lose this, but in the end, it was Ram who ended up taking the victory 4-2.
You might think that such a big match might have taken it out on Ram for the semis, and Ali exerted all the pressure he could on Ram. With chances to win, Ali fell at the final hurdle, and Ram advanced into the final. Meanwhile, Rod was quietly getting on with business, taking care of Nick's resistance, winning 4-1. And this meant the final had two old foes, two players who have previously dominated the finals, and historically been number 1 and 2 at MNT pretty much since the ranking system was introduced. Whilst Ram has mostly had edge over Rod, Rod felt motivated and was playing some exceptional stuff en route to the final. But Ram's experience often brings through and the final was a really high quality affair between two players who have a lot of respect for each other. Rod did what he could, but despite making some incredible shots, his mistakes were capitalised on and Ram won through 4-3. Rod wasn't too disappointed though, telling DAZN after the final, "it was good to be back in a final with Ram, where we both belong to be", whilst Ram agreed "God played well, some great combos made, and it felt like old times to be back in the final with him".
This now leaves Ram just 0.116 points behind the current leader, Gabriel, which means next week's MNT will be quite decisive, as the top spot could change hands again. We're in the home straight of the year, and we'll expect to see plenty of drama between now and the end of the year to see who will finish the year in number 1 spot.
- Details
- Written by Dan Suh
- Category: Home
- Hits: 31
